Something for Sundays: Power and Authority

Instagram thoughts and a poem

Happy Sunday!

It was an interesting week to be a Mormon woman. For those who might not be aware, the official Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Instagram posted a picture containing a quote from a female leader at a recent Women’s Conference:

“There is no other religious organization in the world, that I know of, that has so broadly given power and authority to women.”

Over 15,000 women commented on this post sharing experiences, thoughts, and insights. In such a public way, it was beautiful to feel seen in the comments by thousands of women living all over the world. For the most part, the women’s voices in the comments said: 1) this is not true and 2) I don’t feel powerful in this organization.

I’m not going to dive into the nitty-gritty here, but if you’d like to read more about this, you can read this New York Times article, and this substack post overviewing some recent history of LDS Feminism. You could also listen to this podcast that voices perfectly the conversations that many Latter-day Saint women are having.

While some Christian circles are still discussing whether or not women have the right to teach, Mormons do have some edge in what women can or cannot do at church. Mormon theology emphasizes equal partnership in marriage, honors Eve as being a decision-maker rather than being deceived, believes in a Mother in Heaven (although is a bit wish-washy about how we talk about Her), and believes in an inherent Divine Nature of each person. Women teach, women give talks, and have women-only organizations in each congregation.

However, the idea that we have more “power and authority” over any other religious organization in the world falls flat. Women do not have the Priesthood — which means women cannot give healing blessings, women cannot participate in laying on of hands, and are very limited in what callings they can hold in Church. They need to ask permission from a man for pretty much everything they do. Many more things can be added here, but honestly, I’m tired of thinking about all the inequalities. I encourage you to learn more on your own if you’re interested.

Baby Mormon Feminist

I read something funny this week that said every baby Mormon feminist feels like she is the first one. In actuality, women have been saying alllllll of these things since the very beginning. Feeling like ‘the first’ definitely felt true to me. I started seeing all of these inconsistencies and inequalities and thought, “Oh, easy! I can change that!”

In some ways, it feels that I have the ability to. I can speak up in church classes, in church councils, and feel heard on some local capacity. For a long time, I have taken on the inspiring idea of, “Just ask!” to heart. It feels empowering to ask for what you want. And I have even seen some of my ideas be implemented before!

I have served unoffically in my local congregations as both Sunday School President and Ward Mission Leader, both with a male-counterpart, and both with a made-up title to create a spot for my position. I wedged myself into places that, under the current structure, do not exist. I am truly so, so grateful for those bishops who have allowed me to do this. Their thoughtfulness, vision, and trust in me bring tears to my eyes. It makes me feel hopeful. It makes me feel like the church’s inequality issues could someday, somehow, be alleviated.

But, after a while, it can wear you down.

My question is, “Is it my job to fix the church?”

This isn’t a yes or no answer for me, honestly. In some ways, I feel that responsibility, or have felt that responsibility before. But that, as I’m sure you can feel, is a big weight to carry. Ultimately, truthfully, the only ones with real decision-making power on a church-wide scale are men. As good and kind and generous as they may be, they will be looking through their lenses when considering these issues. The patriarchal structure didn’t start with the church — it manifests its ways in all different organizations and cultures and religions.

So, what can be done?

Honestly, I don’t think our job as baby Mormon feminists is to fix the church, as honorable as a cause it may be. We may be able to celebrate some changes in our lifetime, and I am hoping we will. But the church is like a biiiiiiig ship, and it doesn’t turn easily. There are so many factors that go into making a change — especially a massive structural undertaking like this would be.

Being a baby Mormon feminist feels like being in a glass box — it’s just big enough of a box that you can almost stand up in it. But you are always hunched, always a bit uncomfortable, and what’s worse — you can see so clearly that Divine Potential you’ve been taught your whole life. You get glimpses of your Divine Self, you get hope of a Female God, you get tastes of a potential Priestesshood — but you can’t. quite. stand. up.

Turn Women Back to Themselves

Here’s what I think: I think women suffer when they are told that their source power lies outside of themselves. If we are constantly looking to a source (like the church) for answers to our questions, for validation of our worth, we will be left hungry and wanting. In our current church structure, the only ones who could potentially add on to an official doctrine of a Heavenly Mother is the Quorum of the Twelve. And they have made it clear: they don’t know any more than we do!

There is something ironic about begging male leaders to get revelation about a Divine Feminine being, or asking them to help us have more power. Painfully, and tortuously, I believe that women do need to take extreme responsibility for their own access to divine power.

Regena Eisenhauer, who I frequently quote, says, “Knowing and owning the source of her feminine power is the only antidote to the crisis of confidence among women in the world today.”

Jesus plainly understood the power that women hold. He was the first to call a woman a “Daughter of Abraham”, He had women disciples, encouraged women to learn, and He appeared first to a woman after His resurrection.

Curiously, I have found that my search for God has really been a search for myself. And when God looks feels is male, it can be hard to see yourself in His image. Many women are drawn to the concept of divine feminine power for this reason — I want to see myself in God, I want to be an image-bearer in a way that feels more consistent with who I am.

The concept of Heavenly Mother is only well known in Mormonism because of a poem published by Eliza R Snow (source).

A poem!

Although it may seem small, I find great hope in that.

Poems are not threatening. They are not speculations, they are not anything official or fierce or concrete — they are just imaginings, they are just poems. But poems outlast many other writings.

Many Latter-day Saint women have followed Eliza R. Snow’s footsteps and have also written poetry about Heavenly Mother — like Cherish by Ashli Carnicelli, Trina Caudle, and McArthur Krishna, or the beautiful collection Finding Mother God by Carol Lynn Pearson.

In the spirit of poetry, I wanted to share a poem that I wrote several years ago. It is an imitation poem based on Harlem by Langston Hughes.

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What happens to a dream deferred?

Is she forgotten 
Sitting there on the fence? 
Or urged to speak up — 
then praised for compliance?

Does she crust and sugar over—
So sickly sweet?
Or jump ship altogether —
Accepting defeat? 

Maybe she just sags
Like a heavy load.

Or does she explode?

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The explosion of women this week on the church’s Instagram post felt empowering to me. I saw, plainly, with 15,000+ other women, that my concerns are not just mine — we are going through a collective experience. Although we may not be “given” power and authority like the Church proclaims, I believe we do have inherent power and authority. I hope someday to feel that I can stand up tall in that glass box. I hope someday there won’t be any box.

Thank you for being here. Have a wonderful week!

May 2024 update:

A dear friend and subscriber sent me these AI-generated images that showed how she felt as a woman in a glass box. Beautiful!