How to be a doubter

(10 easy steps!)

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Dear Reader,

So, you want to be a doubter, eh? :) Or maybe you don’t want to — but have been gifted doubt like manna falling from the sky.

This guide is not about tearing down faith for the sake of it or prescribing a particular path forward. Instead, I hope you can see this week’s letter as an offering: a way to navigate the gift of your doubt with courage, curiosity, and grace.

So, without further ado…

First, you must be willing to doubt. You might have pushed away your doubts for a long time — I know I did. They lurked in the corners of my peripheral vision, dark edges vignetting my bright, sunny faith. I cloaked my doubts in benefit and generosity until they were unrecognizable. They were buried beneath explanations that I nodded my head to and were engulfed by the oft-repeated mantra: doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. After you’ve doubted your doubts to oblivion, it may be time to be willing to doubt your faith.

Second, you must face the terror. Religous doubt may feel like it is life or death — that is not an exaggeration. As humans, we are tribalistic creatures. To leave our tribe is to leave our safety, our belonging, our identity. Religion encompasses so much of that.

You might consider asking yourself: What, exactly, am I afraid of? The answer will not be easy, but will point you in a direction. In a sense, you need to choose faith over fear. Faith that you’ll be okay. That your children will be okay. That your parents will be okay. That you will still be held by a God/universe/life that allows you — no, encourages you — to navigate the maze of life differently than me, than your parents, than your neighbors. There is terror in that, absolutely, but there is also freedom.