Coming out of hiding

Growing a new shell

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When lobsters outgrow their shell, they hide in a crevice or under rocks to safely shed, expand their body, and grow a new shell before coming back into the world. It’s very vulnerable to be without their shell, and for a lobster, an essential part of survival is periodically going into hiding to shed, expand, and grow.

Reflecting on my spiritual journey, I relate a lot to those little lobsters. As I grow a new shell, I can’t help but wonder, “Will others love me with my new look? Will they recognize me? Will I recognize myself?”

For me, being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints equipped me with the worldview, identity, and security I needed to grow my first shell. I learned basic rules about the world, about good and evil, about truth and the lack thereof. I shaped myself into something in response to that environment. It was hard for me to learn how to trust myself when I was always pleading with God or church leaders to tell me what to do. Just tell me what to do.